Another Shift, Another Blog

You know…I think I might go out and kill someone today. Maybe. Because, honestly, I’m getting bored. I’m getting tired of waiting for things to get going. Ragna is actuallylate! I couldn’t believe it! I woke up waiting to hear about how another base was attacked, how the MO fit the older one’s assault, and how they saw the Silver-Haired man do it. But he’s lagging! Lollygagging! I’m starting to go crazy here!

Maybe that bird did kill him. I mean, sure, things would be easier this time around if that happened…but damn. Thinking about not having to deal with him…is almost depressing. The way he looks when I start copying him. When he realizes just what Noel has become. When he’s about to die…oooooh man. Its just all so…divine. But if he’s dead? Well I hardly see a point in keeping things boring. Maybe I can rile up some wanna-be this time who’ll be at least a little bit of fun to fuck around with.

Hnng…doesn’t seem possible, really. Would be so last second. I mean I put A LOT of thought, time and effort in Ragna. And to just go and find someone to replace him? Seems like just so much work. Work, work, work…hardly any time for fun. So ya know what? This isn’t going to be for replacing Ragna. This is just going to be for the sake of it. Yup. Just gonna go do some blood-letting just for the sake of it.

Alright. Now that cleaned up, I think I will. I wonder where I’ll

Ugh. False alarm. Just got the reports now. Yup, definitely Ragna. Damn. And here I was ready to just have some fun…

Then again…who said I still couldn’t?

I saw that bird today…it was facing the left this time. That’s only the thirstiest time out of 1992 that it has. I wonder what made it do that. I wonder what butterfly didn’t flap their wings to cause it to look the wrong way. Normally it always looks to the right. And when it does, it seems to notice the failing glider heading right for it. Instead, it didn’t notice the glider, and the thing was tackled, and crushed to the ground. Falling several stories and crushed against pavement and plastic would do that to ya, I guess.

So what does that mean? How do things change now? Was that bird supposedly destined to fly off, lay an egg, and that egg would attract the fox that would force the mouse to hide, and prevent it from nibbling the cheese that would later be eaten by the man who’d get sick and pass it on to a hundred others? Would one of the diseased end up being someone here? Am I gonna get sick? Is Relius? Will we lose a lot of souls to disease and force us to reschedule our party?

Will it be because of that bird that everything goes to hell? Or will Ragna end up getting sick this time? Will he end up dying before the time came and will our plans go better than before?

I’m not sure. But I hope that if anyone gets sick, it’ll be that bitch of a vampire. I’d like to see her cough up some blood before I make her stomach do the same.

Its funny how time works though. Its funny how such little things change everything. Oh well…maybe that just means things will be more fun this time around. That wouldn’t be so bad. Right?

You know…I really wish I didn’t have to keep this guise as the ‘timid, but shady’ Captain of the Intelligence Department.

I REALLY wish I didn’t.

Some fuckingidiotcame in, all bruised and cut up. What happened? The idiot fell and got himself caught by the rebels outside of Kagusutchi!

Now, I know a lot of you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, but don’t worry. It was just a reeeeeeeeeally small group of guys who thought they were getting pushed around too much by us. Mostly beastkin. We usually put them down before they do anything major. Real clean and simple.

This time it may not work out so easily though. This kid is usually fine. He goes in, sees where they are, gets some useful info, and gets out. Simple scouting stuff right? Well this DUMBASS must’ve eaten a doughnut too many this shift…because the branch he was sitting on fell!

So they saw him, attacked him, and almost captured him. Well he got away…but left all his notes behind! No doubt they’ve changed locations by now, and knowing these beastkin…ugh. They’ll be a pain in the ass to find again.

I just wanted to RIP THAT IDIOTS HEAD OFF! But…all I could do was scold him through gritted teeth, and order him to do my paper work for awhile. I have him do it in another room so I don’t have to look at him.

Boy…if I just had a few SECONDS with him…where no one would know…gosh. I’d have a new footstool, and be able to repaint my desk a nice sharp crimson. Yeah…that’d be nice. But…I can’t break cover. Not yet. There’s still a looooooooong time before the whole thing happens. I gotta stay cool.

Shit I hate idiots.

Where have I been? Did I die? Did the show start early?

No…Jin’s still at his post. The base is still full of souls. The cauldron hasn’t even started heating up. Still awhile yet before things get rolling.

Its gonna be awhile before Ragna is found to be the Grim Reaper after the NOL.

Heh…hope no one from the base reads this. As far as I know they don’t know about this blog. And even if they did…well guess someone’s dying today, eh?

Anyway…I’ve been having…problems.

Problems I haven’t experienced since I started controlling this body.

The boy is resisting. Punching through. Taking control again.

He’s the reason I’ve been finding egg shells around, been seen sleep walking, having random things busted.

He’s trying to take back control of what’s his.

I went to go see Relius about the problem. He was surprised…even a bit disturbed, it seemed. Him? Disturbed? Man that kinda…well…made me nervous, ya know?

Anyway he redid the seal that kept my soul in here, and I’ve felt a bit more…whole.

But I hear him…crying and whispering. That only happened a few times at first. Back when I was new to the whole concept, but after doing it so many times, it only happened very rarely and very quietly. Before I could more or less mentally kick the kid in the jaw to shut him up, but he’s getting louder.

Well you better realize, Kazuma. You’re never getting out of here.

This is my body, now.

You’ll never be rid of me. Never.

I found her.

She was surprised when I did.

A flashing grin. A kick to the shin.

A few swings, and yelps.

She was blushing the whole time.

And as soon as my hands took her wrists, I knew she was mine.

Her knees buckled, her eyes widened, perhaps surprised by my gentle latch.

She stared at me for awhile, her lips trembling. I grinned down at her…and leaned in.

Her face got redder…was it even possible? I suppose so. Either way, she certainly expected a kiss.

“Walk with me.” I whispered. I pushed her through her into her apartment. She was trembling even more. I pushed a bit more.

She fell, her bottom landing on the bed. I came over her, crawling on top of her. My mouth rubbed against her skin, lips brushing and chilling her spine. I felt goosebumps rise up along her flesh. She whimpered cutely, her arms coming around my torso. I grabbed them and pressed them against the bed. I kissed her, and she pressed against me. Her body arched to meet mine. I pinned her arms a bit longer, and pulled away from her.

“You’re right…you are different.” I’d say and kiss her again, “You’re different…”

“Hazama…” She squeaked out.

“They’ll all be jealous of you…” I kissed along her neck again.

“Hazama…”

“They’ll wish they were you…” My fingers interlocked with her’s.

“Oh, Hazama…”

“But you’ll never know.”

“Ha-” Our foreheads suddenly collided. My hat flew off, landing to the far side. She groaned, her eyes rolling, her head bobbing. She wasn’t knocked out, but very dizzy. I just grinned still.

“You’ll never know.” There were clicks. NOL issued handcuffs came around her wrists. “But you’ll be beautiful forever.” They came around her ankles, “And I’ll treat you well.” I slapped her across the face, her eyes bulged open. She was plenty awake now, and seemed very scared. “Just remember to scream.”

I flicked the knife out from my pocket. I flicked it open.

“No…”

“Yes!” I snickered.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes…” I placed the tip of the blade in the middle of her collar bone.

“NO!”

The knife slashed downward. It split her top, and blood ran down in a steady stream. And then I cut her again…and again…and again. Blood splashed against the walls. It was as if a painter was throwing paint at a canvas. All red.

The bed was stained. Deep crimson pooled under her. It soaked the knees of my pants.

I made a Y-cut. I opened her up. And as I did, she expanded her lungs to impossible size-I could tell, I watched it happen-and screamed.

I tore out her heart.

Blood splashed up again. I was covered in it. Sprinkled in the sprays of red.

She made some gurgling sounds. Her eyes rolled again. Her body shook a bit…her lungs flattened. And she died.

Just for fun I cut out her lungs. They sat in her chest cavity like useless slabs of meat.

The stink of blood, death, and shit filled the air.

And then I came home.

I hope she’s thanking me. Her face will never sag, will never wrinkle, and her hair will never grey.

She will stay beautiful. Forever.

Anyway…time to clean up. Take a bath. Have an egg. And think about alllllll those poor fangirls who know that this is EXACTLY how I’d treat every. Single. One of them.

I saw her again today, that silly fangirl that decided to try and stand up for her and her…species. Ah, but she didn’t see me. But she probably knew I was watching anyway. I looked down at her as she passed by the branch. Why was she still here, I wondered. What purpose did she have just meandering around? Perhaps she was building up the courage to speak to me again; this time with more ammo than ‘We’re different!’ Ah, so silly.

The phone rang.

“Captain,” I heard Makoto’s voice on the other end.

“Yes, what is it?”

“Major Kisaragi is here to see you.”

“Ah, send him in.” The Major wanted to speak with me about one of our branches suddenly being attacked and destroyed. Well, I don’t have to tell you who did that. Heheh…

The door opened and I turned to face him as he closed it behind him. Jolting sapphire, and golden hair. Yup, he was the Major alright. And gripped in his hands was the legendary Yukianesa Nox. The very one his sister had given him so long ago. Of course he didn’t know…at least not yet. She was just the Imperator to him right now.  

“Captain Hazama.” He greeted being as blunt as possible.

“Hello, Major. How are you?” I, of course, tried to make things a little less…cold in here.

“I’m fine, and let’s leave it at that.”

“Alright, alright. No reason to give me that icy stare of yours. Now you wanted to talk to me about the recent attack, right?” I was standing by the large window in the back of my office. He came closer, standing directly in front of my desk. I’d have offered him a seat, but he didn’t seem to feel much like sitting, so I just got down to business.

“Heh…attack? More like a massacre. Almost no one survived, and anyone who did was so shaken from the attack that all we could get out of them was gibberish.”

“Well it wasn’t all gibberish, right?” I came back to my desk, picking up a folder. I opened it up and flipped to a page titled ‘Witness Reports’, “Didn’t the Black Beast come up a lot…yes reading here seems like a number of soldiers implied it was the black beast that attacked them.”

“They’re delusional, Captain. We can’t take any of that seriously. Besides, if it was the Black Beast, I think we would’ve seen it coming.” I hummed a bit in fake thought.

“Well…what if this black beast is different? Maybe it can take on different forms? After all what else do you think could really cause such destruction so easily?”

“Even still…why just attack the NOL, then? The Black Beast was a mindless creature that destroyed and killed everything in its path. This was a specific attack on the NOL.”

“Maybe it wants revenge?” I snickered a bit.

“This is no time for jokes, Captain.” He growled.

“Easy, Major, don’t worry. I understand this is a very serious situation, and believe me my agents are doing everything they can to collect as much information on this incident as possible. We should know more within the next few days. Maybe even find whatever attacked the branch.” I shrugged.

“I do hope so…I’d hate for the branch boasting the most knowledge end up being the most worthless.”

“Now, now Major…let’s not start calling each other names, alright?” I snickered again, despite his growing annoyance. He growled again, clearly having enough of me.

“Well, be sure to let us know if you have anything. I have some work to do myself, so I’ll be on my way.”

“Very well…it was good seeing you again Major. Do keep in touch, alright?” He didn’t say anything, and simply turned and left.

Man…talk about the cold shoulder, eh?

I love me!

You’ll never guess what happened today…

Go on, guess! No? Here, I’ll give you a hint. It had to do with my last post…still nothing? Ok, well, I’m tired of waiting for your idiotic guesses.

I had a visitor. Not just any visitor. But a disgruntled fan coming to ‘speak with me’ about my last post. Guess I hit a nerve…heheheh.

Anyway, there I am sitting at my desk, bored, as usual when suddenly I get a call from my secretary. Says I got some pissed off looking girl storming into my office. She said she had business with me and insisted she saw me. Well…I often tell Makoto-yes, my secretary is Makoto in this shift, don’t ask its a long boring story-how bored I often am! So…she decided to let her through. I guess to spice up my day.

Well no later did she tell me this some…surprisingly attractive girl walked in. She had to be around twenty-one, about 5’6”. She was a redhead with emerald eyes. She was…well endowed, and full, if you understand me. Not exactly overweight…but not exactly the build expected by women her age and height. She had a bit of meat on the bones, ya know? Anyway, she was wearing a blue dress with a red cardigan. Not the most…attractive attire. Kinda boring really. In fact the only thing that kept it from being completely boring was the color scheme. At least it contrasted enough to have something going on.

Anyway, this girl walks in, the door swinging open. Her face was red when she initially entered…she must’ve built up all that anger on her way here to make sure she’d explode on me or something. She even opened her mouth as if to say something…but then her eyes widened and she suddenly closed her mouth. I think it was at that moment she realized who she was actually going to be talking to.

“Thank you, Makoto. I’ll take care of it from here…and make sure I’m not disturbed while I’m meeting with her.” I said this and hung up the phone in my office. It was an older looking phone, but it worked just as well as any modern phone. Just all about the style, ya know?

Ah where was I…oh right…

“So you must be the gal barging into my office.” I stood up from my desk and came around to the side of it. I sat down, scooting myself close to the middle, one leg rested on the desk, while the other hung to the ground. I tipped my hat back slightly, getting a better look at her. She had freckles.

She was quiet for a moment. Her chest suddenly rose, and her eyes closed. Guess she needed a moment to compose herself. Typical fangirls. Always so star struck.

“Yes…” She said this, her voice shaking just a bit, “I’m here to talk to you about that post you made on your blog.” As she spoke the shakiness wore off. It was as if she was getting used to speaking after weeks of silence.

“Oh? Well which one, then?”

“The most recent one. The one about fangirls.”

“Ah…yes that one. One of my favorites, really. Always gets me some fun reactions. Heheheh…” I snickered tipping my hat downwards again.

“Well…we’re not all the same you know!” I suddenly started laughing. I looked to her, my eyes opening showing off that wonderful yellow glare.

“You’re not all the same? Well of course you’re not! Some like to draw me with Ragna. Some like my feet. Some like bondage. Some like me fucking myself…literally! Some like using my own Nox against me! Some like me bloody. Others like me sticky. Some want me to beg, and others to claim. You’re all very unique in how fucked up you all are! Each of you expressing your stupid and twisted fantasies in different weird as shit ways…” She was silent, her eyes wide. C’mon, did she really expect me to say anything else? “Now…was that all you came here to say? Did you just come all of this way to point out the stupidly obvious? Well…I suppose someone had to for all the idiots. But still, that seems like a pretty stupid reason to come out all this way just for that. So go on…justify all those bus fares or plane tickets!” She flinched a bit, I shined not just the spotlight on her, but about a hundred other lights.

“I…”

“You…?” Her face was beat red. Wow did she really expect me to not to pound her down into the ground like that? What kind of fangirl was she, huh?

Without another word though, she ran out of the office. I couldn’t quite tell, but I think she was crying.

Damn…and just as I was having fun. I picked up the phone again.

“Makoto?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Find out where that girl hides out. I’m going to be paying her a visit in a few days.”

“Yes, Captain.” Click.

Well…I think I found my toy for the week.

Ya know what I don’t think I’ll ever understand?

No matter how many shifts…how many eternities I experience…no matter how much time I spend around them or look into them…I don’t think I’ll ever understand them.

Them.

Those who see all that is so absolutely magnificent about me, but multiply it by tenfold.

Those who imitate and recreate.

They see how I dress. And they dress alike.

They see how I like eggs. And so they collect eggs.

They see me. They draw me.

They think of me. They fantasize.

You know whom I speak of. You’re probably one of them.

Fan girls.

The gaggle of a million panty waving girls…most of which are probably jail-bait, buuuut that’s besides the point.

I’m sure so many of them would love it if I were to come to them. To arrive in the dead of night. To sneak through the window, making not a sound as I enter their rooms. I would sneak up to them, as quiet as a mouse. I’d stand over them. They’d awaken, sensing the presence of some…creature far more power than them, and possibly dangerous. As they’d look up, their eyes would widen in wonder. Their mouth would open to scream my name. But with cunning quickness, my finger would touch their lips.

“Hush now, Love.” I’d whisper sweetly, “Save all that screaming for when the action starts.”

And then we’d share a night of passion.

Man…how boring. How cliche. Gag!

Sorry, ladies…but don’t expect even a ghost of me to appear by your bedside some night. Its not my kind of fun, ya know?

And yet you insist…absolutely insist on depicting me as some kind of…sex-fiend at times!

Do you have any idea what I’ve seen you people do to my image?!

With Tsubaki, with Makoto, with Jin, with Ragna, with Jubei, with Relius, WITH MYSELF! WITH EGGS! EGGS!

Honestly…I may be a messed up fella, but goddaaaaaaaaaaamn. You fangirls have me beat in the crazy contest by a mile! Its as if you’re all in competition with each other to see who can come up with the most fucked up fantasies!

But do keep up the stuff with Makoto…because between you and me…I HAVE hit that! Yup, dedicated an entire shift to it. Got her in bed and spent YEARS hitting that until time restarted. One of my favorite shifts. Hahahah!

Ya know what else you fangirls can keep doing though? Keep being yourselves. I know I just gave you a bunch of shit…but come ooooooooon! Who can honestly say they hate having millions of people utterly and completely obsessed with them to the point of insane fantasies? I sure can’t lie like that. Nope, I can’t say I hate it.

I love how much you swoon.

How you blush when you see me.

How you squee when you imagine me touching your skin.

I love how much you love me. I mean, sure, it only makes sense that you would…but still. I love it. I love you all. I’ll never understand you, but that’s another thing I love. You guys always surprise me. I can never ever guess what you’ll do next. Maybe one day it’s a touching picture of me and Trinity, the next its me getting raped by Relius, and another is just me…standing there being myself. It may not all be…accurate and just wild fantasies, but, hey, at least its me.

I don’t think I’d have it any other way…

Ok that’s a lie. More less fucked up stuff, please? I just want more cool pictures of me. That’d be a loooooooooot better than me masturbating with an egg, ok? 

Great.

Ya know what I really can’t wait for?

What I really really cannot look forward too without spinning in my chair, my arms up, laughing?

When Noel gets up to Adventus. When her and I have our little chat…

I remember staring at her in her beautiful eyes-they really were quite stunning, you know-and telling her.

She was a puppet.

A tool.

A stupid little doll, just like the one that swooned after Rags like a middle-school prep with a crush on the quarterback.

And when it all hit home…she screamed.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Yahahahahahahahah! Oh man, her scream! She was screaming and crying! Her body was shaking, and yet she was so motionless. Bolverk’s limiters were removed…and she became Kusanagi.

I’d bring a recorder so I could hear that scream whenever I needed a pick-me-up…but I don’t think it’d follow me after time decided to restart again.

Heheheh…just such a shame I’ll have to explain it all again. Oh well…it’ll be worth it.

I found eggshells in my bed this morning. From an egg I haven’t eaten. What is going on here? Is someone trying to play pranks on me? Is someone fucking with me?! Who? Relius? Ragna? Kokonoe? Did Nine break free? Shit, I can’t think. I’m probably being a bit paranoid…but none of this shit happened before! None of it! Hnng…

I asked around. Apparently someone from the night crew brought one up to my office while I was sleeping in the personal room. I even answered the door, they said. That doesn’t make any sense though…sleep walking? I’ve never sleep walked before…let alone sleep ate. Whatever.

Maybe all of this time repeating the same thing over and over again has me all messed up. Could it be my body is connecting to different shifts and doing things from random times of random shifts? Will I suddenly be pretending to fight Ragna in my sleep next? Will I go out and try courting Agent Nanaya again? Maybe I’ll just walk a bit too far, thinking I’m on the ground somewhere, and fall off the top of the building.

Ugh…I need some air. Paper work can fucking wait.

The strangest thing happened while I was bathing…the tub broke! No it literally broke! There’s a goddamn hole in the side! I was just sitting, relaxing in my bubble bath, enjoying my hard boiled egg, and then suddenly there wasn’t any water! Just me, completely naked with some egg smeared on my face! I was so shocked I didn’t move at first.

Finally when I did get up, I saw that luckily most of the water was going down a drain near the tub. I won’t say why there’s a drain in the middle of my secret room…simply because I’d have to explain somethings that would make it not so secret anymore.

Anyway! The tub! Water, soap, and pieces of porcelain were scattered along the ground. It was as if someone had taken a sledge hammer to the side of it while I wasn’t looking. 

I’m not sure if that’s the case, but…I figured I’d get someone to replace it. In a way I’m almost glad it got broken. At least I could have something other than that ugly ass cat paw. So disgusting…the thought of being naked in a cat’s paw…ugh it just makes me shiver.

Ugh…whatever. I got word out I need a new tub…so I’m going to bed. I don’t know how this day could get worse…buuuuuuuuuuut, I’m not gonna try my chances and just end the day now.

Stupid cats.

Guess Relius had me figured out. Ahahah…he came in just as I was about to approve the kid’s application.

“Hazama,” He said, “Need I remind you that constantly changing the flow of time will result in unforeseen consequences? I do hope you remember, or else we’ll have another unfortunate incident in the office from a week from now.”

“Oooooooh, that,” I replied, as sweetly as ever, “Listen I just…I was juuuuuust about to throw it away. In fact.” I tore it in half, and a part of my heart with it. I was really looking forward to the show…but a part of me somewhat agreed with Relius. As much as I loved spicing things up, do it too much…and well shit happens! “See? Gone! Can I get back to work now? I really would like to get this all done before dinner time.”

“Yes, yes, I’ll leave you to it.” He walked out of the office, but he seemed to turn his head slightly at me as he did. He probably thought I was making a face at him. Well last time he did a double take…I was! So…I was a bit smarter this time and just gave him a smile and a wave. Aren’t I nice?

Anyway…where was I? Oh right.

So now the high light of my day was gone. Torn to pieces by my own hands. Oh the irony. Ah well…maybe I should think about having a quick bath. Now…where is my soap?

Ah…this is probably, oh, the thirstiest time I’ve made my very first post here on tumblr. Yeah, I remember the first time. All those cycles ago. I-…ah nevermind. That’s old news. What’s important is now…and now…well let’s see. Its shift number…1992. Man already? Seems like just yesterday I started fucking around with the whole time loop thing. Whatever, I guess I’ll just try something new this time.

Maybe I’ll try throwing an egg at everyone I see. No…no why waste good food? Maybe I’ll try to develop a tolerance or resistance to those stupid cats and their…fur. God how do they live like that? They stink, they’re dirty, hell its ugly too! And itchy. But, maybe I can grow to beat it. Get myself unallergic to the damn stuff, or at least find a cure.

Ah, but a cure would require specimens wouldn’t it? Let’s see…well there’s always that filth of a place known as the Kaka village. I’d really hate to go down there if just so I don’t expose my clothes to those ‘elements’. Man, just thinking about entering the place gives me the chills. I’m almost afraid my clothes will be stuck stinking like cat just from passing through there. Ugh! I reeeeeeeeeally don’t want to waste my endless time buying suits. That’s just stupid. I have literally all the time I want. Why spend it buying new suits? Seems like a real pain to me.

Ah shit…another wonderful pile of papers came in. Let’s see…its 8:39pm. Guess it must be the pile with the odd kid with some weird depression issue. You know, I’m kinda supposed to deny him a job here…but whenever I do he comes in one day and kills a few people! Man if I knew he was THAT messed up, I would’ve hired him on my very first cycle! Ah well…in a bout a week I oughta be hearing about it. Gotta sit through some lecture about consistency from Relius as a consequence…tooooooooooootally worth it though. The kid uses a stapler on some poor sap. Took the cleaning crew a week to get that all cleaned up! Ahahahahaha!

Aaaaaaanyway, off I go. Things to do…